nightmares?

I had nightmares for consecutive nights now. Let me just briefly explain some of them.

1) I woke up late for my first day of the STPM examination. The supervisor would not let me take the test and kept yelling to me, "It's OVERRRRRRR"

2) I could not do any of the questions(same exam), and I got horrible marks. Everyone was laughing at me =(

3) I dreamed that all my loved ones died. My best friends, my family. All left was me and my brother. We were sitting on a stone in a graveyard. And it wasn't those lovely graveyards with green grasses, nooo. It was crowded with big large deteriorated angel statues like those you'll usually see in horror movies. It was scary.

4) I was standing in a bloody cathedral. This one was just a short one but heck, a bloody cathedral. How scary was that. Woke up to a racing heartbeat and sweaty forehead.

and some other random nightmares. Seriously was it something i ate?

it's all gonna be alright

In life, there would definitely be times where you'll feel like as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and how no one wants to help you to carry the burden. Those times where you'll just feel lousy and terrible. I've been through that, and I'm going through it now. Everyone does. I just got a friend who has just been through one of the toughest time right now and I gotta say, it ain't easy. Even though I cannot imagine how do everyone feels when facing these turmoil. It has to be hard. I know.

You may feel pretty lousy. and that is fair. cause you're gonna get past this.

We all screw up sometimes.

But the great thing is that with every tough times, there will definitely be a happy ending to it. Life will definitely be better, times will change and finally you'll be the one who enjoys the success. Plus, if you don't fail how do you suppose that you'll get better? If you're always number 1, you'll be bored with the sweet taste of success after a long run.

Of course, you may say that you don't know the future, and neither do I. No. But I have faith. I have faith that you'll succeed.

Just remember, whatever pain all these is causing will be worth it.

And when you do succeed, the day when you have finally achieved your goal, you'll look back to these days and be so grateful for all the screw-ups, all these uncertainties, all the disappointments because it has finally led you to what you want, your goals. All these experience is gonna mature you and make you so much stronger. Sure, you may be disappointed through this journey(not to mention plenty of heart aches), but doesn't this all seems worthwhile if that's what it takes to achieve your goals, your dreams?

Life may not go your way sometimes, but maybe it's leading you toward a much better route?

So yea. just bear with it. Because it is all gonna end. You're gonna look back someday and appreciate all these lessons life has taught you.

p/s i'm no psychologist or big-shot wise guy but i'm just trying to type out what i feel from all this. =) may not be the best advice.

=(((((((((((((((((((((

the epitome of disaster.

Biology P.1 - 07th December
Biology P.2 - 19th November

Chemistry P.1 - 10th December (you've gotta be kidding. my flight leaves that morning)
Chemistry P.2 - 24th November

Pure Maths P.1 - 25th November
Pure Maths P.2 - 1st December

I mean, isn't it annoying how all the subject's paper are split into 2 days. and 2 weeks apart! I might have forgotten everything after 2 weeks! It's like, are you seriously gonna ask us to study the same thing TWICE. Gawsh this was never part of my plan. This is definitely my worst case scenario.


My brain just exploded.

Do pray. Pray hard.

:)

Lead me to the cross - Hillsong United..


this is a good song. take 4 minutes off your schedule.

your megawatt smile can definitely blind my eyes.

anyway, since it's the holidays now. i shall blog! before the hectic schedule returns =(=(sourface.

I like holidays. Freedom, rests, just the things i need after a tiring month. I'm just thankful for this holiday. Definitely appreciating these times more.
And it annoys me when those brats start complaining how boring their holidays are or how they hate holidays. I would really like them to be in my shoes for one day. =)
Missed my mega sales =( will have to wait till december.

I'm worried for my mock exam results this time. I got terrible marks for my chemistry. Not really upset anymore, just worried. Like, how am I gonna pass my finals with this kind of results. bahhh worries.

Most of the time I'm dreaming of the day where I can kiss Form 6 goodbye. Where I will not have to worry about my mathematics or having to write lousy PA essays. Or I'll dream about getting straight As maybe? =) well they are just dreams. nothing more. I'm just hoping that December can really come sooner cause I am running out of motivation to continue this race.

Oh and don't forget the nightmares. Once i dreamed that I didn't know how to answer any of the questions in my biology paper and I was ready to kill myself. Or how I woke up late to my exams. Those were not good dreams i tell ya.

Funny how I can't stop thinking about that person. =(

Show encrypted text

I thank God for the people who created encryption. Allows me to blatantly express myself without having the need to worry about anyone seeing it =)

anyway guess that shall be it. cheers and have a great week everyone.

p/s LV has a new line for men called Monogram Macassar. I think it's pretty cool but i prefer Damier graphite imo. check it out! =D

pp/s cant believe my english is deteriorating! bahh!

ppp/s hello there

they are too pretty. dontcha think?

september is only a month away

Muse on Q: Resistance is futile

CANT WAIT FOR THE ALBUM!

and so it seems

Just when you thought that your life was going very well.

It has been a very long week.

Late sleeping hours, long revision hours, tiring exam week.
Crappy results, feeling like all the hard work you've put in has come to a waste.
Tons of homework to occupy my holidays.


Bah. The surprises that comes with life.

But what you CAN do is to learn and grow from all this..
and i'm still trying to figure that part out.


anyway, had a good night on Friday. Had an awesome party at miss cheery's house. She throws awesome parties. =)
\

=)

anyway. I'll be relaxing through this holiday week. Will try to gain all that r&r I very much require. I actually lost my biology holiday homework, which is very self-explanatory! LOL

cheers. =)

i know i'm not suppose to.

but i can't help myself.

what a bad timing.

well.

there goes my chemistry.


off it goes.





=(

...

Why must my mock exams be so difficult. I swear I put in 101% to this exam, thinking I might at least improve some more. Who knew.

Everything just seems so, wasted. From doing pages after pages of exercise to waking up at 4 in the morning to sleeping at 12midnight. everything is just wasted.

I bet none of the school in town has exams which are half as difficult as ours.

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Well, it was either to hold on for another 4 months or to cut my wrist. so i just opted for the tidier of the two.

This is just perfect. Fanfreakingtastic.

when exam comes,

you're pretty much just tired, moody and agitated.




I look like I have not slept in ages, feel like that too.

Just wanna get this over with. Quickly.

thinking.

Anyway I just watched a report on the consequences from one of the most serious case of economic recession the world has ever faced.

And I've gotta say, I am feeling super blessed right now.

I mean like seriously, there are people who are homeless and living in shelters or erected tents in the middle of an open field. They don't have anything; no cars, no toilets, nothing. They basically carry all their possessions in a big garbage bag and carry it around everyday searching for shelters. On top of that, they are still jobless.

Which made me wonder how blessed we are. We are still here, still well. I have a decent house to live in. I am still able to go to school everyday and come home to an abundant supply of daily necessities. Even though my cars are old and starting to get crappy but I am still thankful that I do not have to walk to my destinations. I'm just thankful for the abundant blessings God has given upon me.

And it kinda disappoints me that at these tough times, even though the recession is not very serious here in Malaysia, there are still people who are desperate enough to spend within their means just to get what they want; just to obtain what they think it's 'necessary'. I know someone who would be willing to empty their bank account just to buy a Salvatore shoe. Even when his/her parents have advised him/her about not being able to afford such luxuries. But no, he/she refused to accept that.

I'm not trying to point anything out from this. All I'm trying to say is that I'm disappointed at this person. And he/she is as stubborn as an ass.

So what do you think? I don't think there is even a need to compare because if you are still able to read this blogpost then you should feel blessed with all you have.

Appreciate.

it's that time again.

about 3 months ago, I asked myself, "How am I ever going to survive through my mock exams? They cover all the syllabus and frankly, there's TONS of stuff to study."

Well, I'm just about to find out.

Seriously though, 3 months ago I couldn't even finish studying through everything for my exams, and that was only half of my mocks. :(

pict of the day

© Yann Arthus-Bertrand
*click on picture to enlarge*

This picture is too adorable. Can you spot the penguin?

This actually made my day. :)

but i cant help but feel sorry for the penguin

because of the melting polar ice caps. :(

:(((((

It makes you even sadder when you're sad and you've decided to go do some online-window-shopping just to cheer yourself up.

And then you realised that what you wanted is no longer there anymore and they've decided that it's Fall and it's time for a change of season.


So soon?

I just hope they've got what I want in KL by year end. I don't wanna buy winter sweater and wear it in KL.

:(

One of the reason that I don't wanna stay in Form 6 is that I'm 9320481230483miles away from most of my best friends.

All my good friends aren't here. :(

And sometimes I wonder if they still remember my existence, cause frankly, it's been a while.

Have not spoken to some lately.



I just hope this friendship never ends.

Blah I'm either paranoid, or I'm a terrible friend.

whatsupwiththat?!?!?

K so did you all know that my school is one of the "Cluster School of Excellence" in Malaysia?

Yes i purposely emphasized on that word.

No no. not just a cluster school. it's THE cluster school of excellence.

and never forget the word EXCELLENCE!


I think it's actually pointless and I hope my headmaster doesn't know how to use the internet. or find my blog.

Anyway. What's the story.

Ever since our school managed to obtain that title, my headmaster has been showing it off. Yes like, showing off BIG time. Very peculiarly, that title always pops up in every single speech he gives or in everything he do.

And then I just heard that teachers are not allowed to, quote, "carry plastic bags in the school anymore". Why? cause it's not of high standards. Not classy. So what, we're suppose to carry LV from now on? And drive merz to school? Or prolly wear Armani suits and Ferragamo shoes from now on.

Please be more realistic my dear headmaster. Not everyone is filthy rich in that school. We don't live in the UES.
And if you wanna talk bout classy, why don't ya upgrade the classrooms and toilets first. Only when your toilet looks better than my bedroom then will we start considering your rules.

Good day to you :)

Muse - Uprising

from their new album, The Resistance



welcome back.

another one!

edited - finally found the full version! listen to the messages at the beginning.

Hillsong - I'm Not Ashamed

they sing really good! If only I could sing that well.

*click to enlarge*

You reckon how long will it take to finish that gigantic 10kgs of chocs. =D