res 09

OH MY. 2009 is gonna end in just a few hours! and a new year is about to begin. Time surely flies.


Well, let's evaluate my resolution for this year.

1) be a better person (..not sure)
2) whine less (failed.)
3) insult less (not sure as well. LOL)
4) money spent less (...uhm...)
5) be more punctual (was i?)
6) go to church more often (...i think so.)
7) be a happier person overall/learn to appreciate (i think i failed.)
8) study very very hard for U6/get better results than last year (yay passed!)
9) do my school homework this year (define "do".)
10) exercise more (failed miserably)
11) go to KL after stpm. (YAY PASSED.)

LOL this is embarrassing.

PLEASEEEEEE

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH PLEASEEEEE GIVE ME THAT JOB!



GOD YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! I REALLY WANT THAT JOB!!!



I need a divine intervention. Help from God. A miracle from God. actually 2 miracles from God.



OH I AM BEGGING YOU!!! YES I AM THIS DESPERATE

sometimes,

you just wish you don't have to keep everything to yourself


you just wish for a helping hand and not have to solve every single problem yourself.








sometimes, you just wish for someone you can talk to all the time without worrying you'll scare/annoy that person off.

Sadly, some wishes will never be granted. 

Merry Christmas

Christmas is not about..

santa claus (never was),
presents,
christmas deco,
snow,
family gathering,
partying,
getting drunk(most stupid thing a person can do during the christmas season. complete imbeciles. pft)

but instead. i believe that christmas is..

the day where God sent His beloved Son into the world.

the day where Christ was born.

the day which made all the difference. where our future will never be the same again because of this day.

the day filled with joy, love, hope and peace.

=D a very happy christmas to all.

the best belated-birthday party. ever.

I was forced to wear the..crown. :(

 

Cheery!

Bryan and Ian!

many thanks to the 3. =) you all are the best.

for the record, I still think i look kinda retarded wearing that crown. =(

=D

Back from KL. a wonderful trip. except for the singapore part tho. too crowded. too many people on such a small island. I was worried the island was gonna sink any moments. hehehehe


Anyway, pictures up..uhm..soon. promise. eventually. =)



I still cant help but keep wondering if i have to study every other minute. It's like, I keep having this autonomic reflex to study or do homework or stuffs like that. As if I've got exam tomorrow since tomorrow is monday. I keep forgetting that it's holidays already. LOL too used to form 6 i guess.



anyway, how is my new found freedom? awesome. amazing. sweeter than anything. I love holidays. No matter how bored people keep telling me that it'll be, I'll still love the holidays. Uh-may-zing.

=)

after almost 2 years,

more than 600 days,

4 subjects,

many books,

thousand of pages,

and many trees cut down after =D

and 7 exams later,...

It is done. This is epic. this feels surreal.

I made it. We all did. =) this is a new beginning.

=)

I cannot believe it. This feels so surreal.



VERY very surreal.


Later on, I'll be having my PA paper 1.



Tomorrow I'll be having my chemistry paper 1, which is also my last paper.

 Which marks the end of form 6.

It feels like I have finally finish this journey. This battle. I've survived through the battle.

The feeling of accomplishment, it's unexplainable.

I feel like I've accomplished something very very big. =)

It has been a very very long journey.

I've reached my destination.

I have to say, it has been a very interesting journey. 2 years of intense rollercoaster ride. There were plenty of difficult times, but i have to admit, there were some amazing times as well.

Great teachers, great schoolmates, great friends who supported me. I cant help but feel blessed instead of feeling tired.

After all of this, do I regret going to form 6? I'll have to say no. I do not regret. Because there isn't anything to regret about. Even though I chose the road less taken, but I thought it was worthwhile. This experience has been very interesting. I've met some of the greatest teachers in my school, met some very interesting schoolmates and learned plenty valuable of lesson throughout this experience.

and i cant help but feel rather...smart =P hahaa

All in all, it has been a great experience. I would not have missed it for the world.

p/s: I thank my friends who have been great support throughout these times, even if I was a big whiny baby. The littlest support and motivation that you all have given me, I truly thank you all. No matter if it was a paragraph full of inspirational quotes or just a short "you can do it", I appreciate it. =) you know who you are.

 pp/s: I do believe i deserve a little break by indulging myself in some retail therapy after all of this dontcha think XD

why?

Why does it seems like my problem just never ends?


This never ending problems. The mounting amount of problems, it's so overwhelming.

Problems after problems.


I just wish I can run away to a place where no one can find me. Just for a week. so that i can rest..

and you're still putting on a happy face.

still trying to help others with their problems

when quite frankly, you have your own problem to solve.

=\

another case of insomnia?


I've been getting sleepless nights this entire week. Even if i do get some sleep it's not all great. I'll wake up like, every 30 minutes or something.


bah. too much stuff in my mind i guess.



I'll just spend this time studying my biology.

rahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

1) It took me 1 hour to finally be able to sign into my facebook account
2) ..and 30 minutes of non-stop attempt of signing into msn messenger.


streamyx. seriously?



i am not happy. not happy at all. if another streamyx technician asks me to check my IP and DNS thingy one more time i am gonna scream and yell profanities to him like there's no tomorrow which can put the person with the worst potty mouth to shame.

ahhaha jokes. please dont take me too seriously now. i think i am slightly insane.

But the complaints above are real! just the profanity part is..uhm..ahh nevermind.
 

anyway, on the other note..

I am leading another p&w session this sunday! after such a long time, I am starting to get worried. I mean, we are lacking musicians this week so I've decided since we've only got pianist, drummer and guitars (acoustic and bass), we might as well just do an acoustic session right? something very laid back and not very rockish. that oughta be interesting.

the problem is,
I have not sung for such a long time.




I tried practicing, and i realized i sounded like a teenage wailing banshee.


gulp.

hmm

yesterday marks the day where I'll never have to study through my Form 6 Mathematics anymore.


As i was putting away the book, I suddenly felt...


..reluctant..



I know i know. I was begging for it to be done before this. But now, after 2 years, I had no idea that it had became a part of my life. I've become so attached to it that, when I put it away, I feel like I'm shutting out a part of my life.

There's this feeling of voidness in my head. Like, something is missing.
My teachers were right. We will be too attached to all of these.

As much as I've hated maths, I've become used to the workload i guess.

My heart is reluctant to let it go.

...

toughest Maths T2 paper that I have ever done.

ughh. frustrated.




very upset now. I just hope that doesn't ruin my chances of getting a scholarship.




it feels like all the hard work that i've put into it has been wasted.

hmmm

so lately, i've been getting this question quite often, which is...

"SO! what are you gonna study next year?/where are you gonna go next year?"

Never did I imagine that it'll be...next year. I always thought it was 2010 but I did not realize that'll be next year. =X

anyway. So. what do i exactly wanna do?

I always wanted to do something that earns me endless amount of cash has something to do with heath-care or health sciences, such as medicine or pharmacy.

But looking at my results now, I don't think I'll be getting any MBBS from any school anytime soon(or anytime at all!). And so pharmacy it is. Besides, I don't wanna screw up my chance of getting a JPA scholarship, so i rather apply for something that's more...realistic. and which is more accessible. see? =D

But IF I do not get any scholarship (which I hope not), I will end up in one of those government universities (again, which I hope not!). Apparently my parents think the course that I am applying for is too expensive. Well, quite true tho. So scholarship. PLEASE!

Then again, IF my results sucks so badly that I can neither do pharmacy or medicine ( I blame stpm.), worse comes to worst, I will have to become a teacher. Yes. A teacher. What subject? Probably chemistry, the subject which i like the most.

BUT! I am trying to be positive! =D all my papers are, alright. So far so good. So I'm hoping for a miracle(actually, many miracles). I'm trying to not think of the "worse comes to worst" situation first. gonna stay positive. And I am quite sure God will help me. =)



uhm, so. are you not entertained?

...

bah. just hold on. 13 more days. just a short period.


get a grip, terrr. suck it up. stop whining.






but i cant help it. I get messages like, "ugh holidays are soooo boring la. rather be in school now. i hate holidays" but are you serious about that? cause for all i know, during those schooldays, you were literally begging for the holidays.

please be considerate ok. there are some people out there who are still working their butt off, wishing for their holidays to come. all your complaints about your holidays will not help. stop being so bitter about it.

bah. upset.

=D happy thanksgiving...

..to everyone. =)

My next paper doesnt start till next Tuesday so I'm grabbing this chance to get some rests. 

and to blog.

So, since it's thanksgiving today, just wanted to make a list of things i'm thankful for.

I am thankful for:-

1. being a Christian. =)
   
2. having the most awesome-est family and the best-est parents, bro and sis
3. having the most wonderful bunch of teachers to teach me this 2 years of form 6
4. going to form 6. not an easy task, but the sense of accomplishment is amazing.
5. 10th of december! retail therapy!
6. getting the adequate amount of blessings, not too much or i'll get spoilt and not too little as well.
7. living in a country where natural disasters are rarely seen 
8. not being born into a very very poor country. or living in poverty.
9. having all the basic necessities in life.

and i'm also thankful for every single one of my friends!

if i start naming everyone, that might take me forever, and this post will get very tedious. so uhm, these are just a few people who helped me a lot this year.

adrian - my reliable chat buddy

louis - the wise guy with wise advice.

lea - for the tea! and being bestie numero uno

dory - the motivator.

xiao mei - best listener in the world. the most patient as well, always there to listen to my ramblings. =)

and many others. no i did not forget you. =) every little things that y'all do, i appreciate it deeply. 

so yea, happy thanksgiving. 

......andmoredots.

Only one paper done.

I have 3 this week. 3 papers in 3 consecutive days. The thought of it makes me cringe in fear.

...I don't know. Feeling kinda down.

It feels like as if I'm in this war all alone. No one is helping me. I feel so helpless.

Well, it's true. Why should anyone care. It's your exam. Deal with it.

I know, i know. You're saying "But God is with you!"


Well, sometimes when you're extra down and sad, you just cant help it.


I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I have no more will.

But I must go on. 

cause I know that some of my friends are supporting me all the way!

I have faith. A faith that can move mountains. I have faith that God will help me get 4As!

...

i'm 41 hours and 30 minutes away from it.

This all feels so surreal.

I actually feel like I'm in a war.


And i've finally reach the battlefield. The atmosphere is tense, everyone is not talking. I'm waiting for the enemy, I can see it already.

I dont know if i bought enough ammo.

..hope so.

I'm in this alone. It's me against everything else. All i have is my brain, myself and I. With supports from teachers, motivation from friends and the encouragements of others.

And the strength of the Lord. =)

this is frightening.

hmm.

So, no more high school eh?

Class officially ended today. But still, the finals are in 2 days time. X.X

but then I finally got my wish, that is, to leave Form 6.

if you were to ask me, am i happy?




...i dont know how to answer.

Bittersweet perhaps?
Happy cause i dont have to endure waking up at 6 am in the morning and go home after an exhausting day.
Sad cause I am gonna miss the people. the atmosphere. the funs.

Kinda reluctant tho. maybe it's just me. =\

I'm never gonna return to that school again as a student. Just an outsider, or an alumni. LOL.


definitely gonna miss them awesome teachers. I'll have to say, after years of studying, the teachers were the nicest these 2 years. Never, did I come across kinder teachers than the ones i had these 2 years.

and i've met the bunch of funniest schoolmates i've ever met as well. Any conversation would usually end up with us either LOL-ing hard or bursting into tears of laughter.

=)

It has been a roller-coaster ride.

This year has been good. Well, sometimes it's bad(when it comes to exams) but then, most of the time it's good. =)

faith.

In Hebrews these 3 words were mentioned; persevere(10:36), do not lose heart(12:5) and endure (12:7).

Although chances of getting As seems pretty slim, but I'm not giving up hope. I'll have faith, faith that God will help and provide. I will not doubt. I'm counting on God.

Philippians 4:13

I would like to share a verse with everyone.

"I can do EVERYTHING through HIM who gives me STRENGTH - Philippians 4:13"

Yeup. so true.

<3

Remembered when i started Lower six I felt soooooooooooo far away from the ending point, the finish line. It felts like the race was never gonna end. The battle was never gonna be won.


I'm on my last kilometer now. :) i cannot believe this is all gonna be over soon.

Call me emotional but you wont understand how would feel, never. Not unless you're in form 6 as well.





I'm so close now. It feels so surreal.

another nice one.

When it feels like the whole world has turn away from you and you have no one to count on...


you know you've still got someone that you can count on. :D

I used to think probably I can go through this ordeal by myself. Boy was i wrong.

Ever since I started relying more on Him, I've realized that revision times are less painful now. I can even memorize chapters after chapters and still be able to remember it the next day. =)

so yea, have a blessed week everyone!

a worth of sacrifice.

This time, I promise. This will definitely worth the 9:26 minutes of your life.

Ever wondered what does it mean when us Christians always say, "For God so loved the world that He gave up His one and only son.."

Well, I have the best video to explain that to you.



Watch this, please. No matter how busy or bored or sad you are. Just watch. No regrets I promise.

ok please, enough.

edited: i've realised that it is not worth my time and energy to fret about you. so i've decided to forgive you and forget about you.
=)

Good day to you.

=DD=

Well..

Operation memorize-every-single-word-in-my-biology-textbook, on!

The only reason I’m doing that is because apparently only 2 people got A in the last STPM exam. Out of 16. So most prolly the probability of getting an A in biology would be 1/8. O_O

So dead. so so dead.

=(

Miracles? Now would be a good time for you to show up.

 

Anyway, would be updating less. MUCH MUCH less. =(

 

 

=D Seeing you brightens my day.

I wonder if you feel the same way as well.

just for fun.

This is def one of the best live performance I've ever seen. Just superb.

Muse - Starlight Live at the EMAs

and another song that i am addicted to now.


Croatian Rhapsody. =D

=(

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:( *rambles, read if you seriously have nothing to do*

Bah.

Frustrated.

 

It’s ok to feel sad once in a while right?

I don’t know.. everything feels so difficult.

So close yet so far.

I don’t think I’m ready for this “battle”. Still shopping for armors and ammunitions. =D

 

Bah, no Swat Vac(holidays before exams).

 

trying to hold on. It’s only 39 days away. Fun is seriously seriously on it’s way now. If you had told me that 5 months ago I would have not believed. Now I do. It’s really close now.

=\

Tomorrow officially marks the day where I will never have to take another high school exam ever again. 

Mixed feelings actually. Can't believe I'm gonna leave high school. 

Not really looking forward to uni years. It's like going back to kindergarten and making new friends, again. =\

But! I really want to get STPM over with super quickly.

Why walk when you cann...

do this! 

LAUGH! =D 

!!!!!

INHALE. 

OPEN MOUTH.

RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

JUST 48 MORE DAYS. HOLD ON!!! 

I am seriously sick of P.A. and maths already. Inorg chem as well.

SO MUCH THINGS TO READ!!! SO MUCH STUFFS TO DIGEST! WHY MUST FORM 6 BE SO DIFFICULTTTTTT. 

=( I CANNOT wait for 10th of december. cannot wait. 

From The Inside Out - Hillsong

Life may be super hectic and exhausting right now that you may think it's going on 10000mph. But take a few minutes to listen to this song. It's only 5 minutes. You won't regret, I promise. =D

I hope the song blesses you as much as it did to me.

fun thought

Yesterday I suddenly thought of the times during our biology lessons in Form 5. Grace once asked me if I had ever heard any of the songs and she'll hum those songs. During then, I had no idea. 

Only lately did I figure out what were those songs she was humming. LOL

L O V E - Nat King Cole. A pretty nice song.

took me a while to figure out this song. LOL and why the subs? cause all the other videos wont let me embed. only this one. 

random post. =|

hmm..

it is inevitable that when some people go away to some other places for further studies, they change. 

Their lifestyles, their personality..

Their friends.

I bet half of the time you don't even remember that you still have a friend back here in this lil town. Or i bet you think we're no longer cool, nor hip. You think you're the city kids now. 

Great. perfect. 

photos!

One day, while I was happily eating chips, I suddenly saw something on the packagings

like, WOW. I mean, I was surprised. This is soo cool!

They've got different bible verses for each different package! I'm sure they've finished writing all the verses in the bibles. =D 

And some random stuffs..

Just something that cheered me up. =)

quickie.

Muse's album. 17th September. I am super excited. Previewed a few songs already, and I'm loving it.

School has been tough, esp when you're trying to catch up with everything. Sometimes i feel like my life is running 10000000mph. I needta slow down. Too much stuffs to do. This week is probably the longest week of my life. Friday couldn't have come sooner. I'm looking forward to another week of break =)

It's really frustrating when you try to do some questions but then you end up with a blank mind. I feel so lousy and useless sometimes.

Apparently i find it interesting while I'm tutoring. Don't know why, I just like it. Prolly it's the subject I'm teaching. Or how I have plenty of fun while teaching them. Problem is I just hope they understands! :(

Salvatore has new shoes! check them out at neimanmarcus.com some are really good. I have a soft spot for their sneakers. =)

Been having recurring dreams about christmas lately. Prolly it's because i miss the holiday seasons too much. I cant wait for december to come this year.

Wouldn't you do the same too if somebody has turned you down so many times, at some point you'll be like, "I'll go and make new friends". I just dont understand some people.


And that will be everything cramped in one =)

this is the last one. promise.

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nightmares?

I had nightmares for consecutive nights now. Let me just briefly explain some of them.

1) I woke up late for my first day of the STPM examination. The supervisor would not let me take the test and kept yelling to me, "It's OVERRRRRRR"

2) I could not do any of the questions(same exam), and I got horrible marks. Everyone was laughing at me =(

3) I dreamed that all my loved ones died. My best friends, my family. All left was me and my brother. We were sitting on a stone in a graveyard. And it wasn't those lovely graveyards with green grasses, nooo. It was crowded with big large deteriorated angel statues like those you'll usually see in horror movies. It was scary.

4) I was standing in a bloody cathedral. This one was just a short one but heck, a bloody cathedral. How scary was that. Woke up to a racing heartbeat and sweaty forehead.

and some other random nightmares. Seriously was it something i ate?

it's all gonna be alright

In life, there would definitely be times where you'll feel like as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and how no one wants to help you to carry the burden. Those times where you'll just feel lousy and terrible. I've been through that, and I'm going through it now. Everyone does. I just got a friend who has just been through one of the toughest time right now and I gotta say, it ain't easy. Even though I cannot imagine how do everyone feels when facing these turmoil. It has to be hard. I know.

You may feel pretty lousy. and that is fair. cause you're gonna get past this.

We all screw up sometimes.

But the great thing is that with every tough times, there will definitely be a happy ending to it. Life will definitely be better, times will change and finally you'll be the one who enjoys the success. Plus, if you don't fail how do you suppose that you'll get better? If you're always number 1, you'll be bored with the sweet taste of success after a long run.

Of course, you may say that you don't know the future, and neither do I. No. But I have faith. I have faith that you'll succeed.

Just remember, whatever pain all these is causing will be worth it.

And when you do succeed, the day when you have finally achieved your goal, you'll look back to these days and be so grateful for all the screw-ups, all these uncertainties, all the disappointments because it has finally led you to what you want, your goals. All these experience is gonna mature you and make you so much stronger. Sure, you may be disappointed through this journey(not to mention plenty of heart aches), but doesn't this all seems worthwhile if that's what it takes to achieve your goals, your dreams?

Life may not go your way sometimes, but maybe it's leading you toward a much better route?

So yea. just bear with it. Because it is all gonna end. You're gonna look back someday and appreciate all these lessons life has taught you.

p/s i'm no psychologist or big-shot wise guy but i'm just trying to type out what i feel from all this. =) may not be the best advice.

=(((((((((((((((((((((

the epitome of disaster.

Biology P.1 - 07th December
Biology P.2 - 19th November

Chemistry P.1 - 10th December (you've gotta be kidding. my flight leaves that morning)
Chemistry P.2 - 24th November

Pure Maths P.1 - 25th November
Pure Maths P.2 - 1st December

I mean, isn't it annoying how all the subject's paper are split into 2 days. and 2 weeks apart! I might have forgotten everything after 2 weeks! It's like, are you seriously gonna ask us to study the same thing TWICE. Gawsh this was never part of my plan. This is definitely my worst case scenario.


My brain just exploded.

Do pray. Pray hard.

:)

Lead me to the cross - Hillsong United..


this is a good song. take 4 minutes off your schedule.

your megawatt smile can definitely blind my eyes.

anyway, since it's the holidays now. i shall blog! before the hectic schedule returns =(=(sourface.

I like holidays. Freedom, rests, just the things i need after a tiring month. I'm just thankful for this holiday. Definitely appreciating these times more.
And it annoys me when those brats start complaining how boring their holidays are or how they hate holidays. I would really like them to be in my shoes for one day. =)
Missed my mega sales =( will have to wait till december.

I'm worried for my mock exam results this time. I got terrible marks for my chemistry. Not really upset anymore, just worried. Like, how am I gonna pass my finals with this kind of results. bahhh worries.

Most of the time I'm dreaming of the day where I can kiss Form 6 goodbye. Where I will not have to worry about my mathematics or having to write lousy PA essays. Or I'll dream about getting straight As maybe? =) well they are just dreams. nothing more. I'm just hoping that December can really come sooner cause I am running out of motivation to continue this race.

Oh and don't forget the nightmares. Once i dreamed that I didn't know how to answer any of the questions in my biology paper and I was ready to kill myself. Or how I woke up late to my exams. Those were not good dreams i tell ya.

Funny how I can't stop thinking about that person. =(

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I thank God for the people who created encryption. Allows me to blatantly express myself without having the need to worry about anyone seeing it =)

anyway guess that shall be it. cheers and have a great week everyone.

p/s LV has a new line for men called Monogram Macassar. I think it's pretty cool but i prefer Damier graphite imo. check it out! =D

pp/s cant believe my english is deteriorating! bahh!

ppp/s hello there

they are too pretty. dontcha think?

september is only a month away

Muse on Q: Resistance is futile

CANT WAIT FOR THE ALBUM!

and so it seems

Just when you thought that your life was going very well.

It has been a very long week.

Late sleeping hours, long revision hours, tiring exam week.
Crappy results, feeling like all the hard work you've put in has come to a waste.
Tons of homework to occupy my holidays.


Bah. The surprises that comes with life.

But what you CAN do is to learn and grow from all this..
and i'm still trying to figure that part out.


anyway, had a good night on Friday. Had an awesome party at miss cheery's house. She throws awesome parties. =)
\

=)

anyway. I'll be relaxing through this holiday week. Will try to gain all that r&r I very much require. I actually lost my biology holiday homework, which is very self-explanatory! LOL

cheers. =)

i know i'm not suppose to.

but i can't help myself.

what a bad timing.

well.

there goes my chemistry.


off it goes.





=(

...

Why must my mock exams be so difficult. I swear I put in 101% to this exam, thinking I might at least improve some more. Who knew.

Everything just seems so, wasted. From doing pages after pages of exercise to waking up at 4 in the morning to sleeping at 12midnight. everything is just wasted.

I bet none of the school in town has exams which are half as difficult as ours.

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Well, it was either to hold on for another 4 months or to cut my wrist. so i just opted for the tidier of the two.

This is just perfect. Fanfreakingtastic.

when exam comes,

you're pretty much just tired, moody and agitated.




I look like I have not slept in ages, feel like that too.

Just wanna get this over with. Quickly.

thinking.

Anyway I just watched a report on the consequences from one of the most serious case of economic recession the world has ever faced.

And I've gotta say, I am feeling super blessed right now.

I mean like seriously, there are people who are homeless and living in shelters or erected tents in the middle of an open field. They don't have anything; no cars, no toilets, nothing. They basically carry all their possessions in a big garbage bag and carry it around everyday searching for shelters. On top of that, they are still jobless.

Which made me wonder how blessed we are. We are still here, still well. I have a decent house to live in. I am still able to go to school everyday and come home to an abundant supply of daily necessities. Even though my cars are old and starting to get crappy but I am still thankful that I do not have to walk to my destinations. I'm just thankful for the abundant blessings God has given upon me.

And it kinda disappoints me that at these tough times, even though the recession is not very serious here in Malaysia, there are still people who are desperate enough to spend within their means just to get what they want; just to obtain what they think it's 'necessary'. I know someone who would be willing to empty their bank account just to buy a Salvatore shoe. Even when his/her parents have advised him/her about not being able to afford such luxuries. But no, he/she refused to accept that.

I'm not trying to point anything out from this. All I'm trying to say is that I'm disappointed at this person. And he/she is as stubborn as an ass.

So what do you think? I don't think there is even a need to compare because if you are still able to read this blogpost then you should feel blessed with all you have.

Appreciate.

it's that time again.

about 3 months ago, I asked myself, "How am I ever going to survive through my mock exams? They cover all the syllabus and frankly, there's TONS of stuff to study."

Well, I'm just about to find out.

Seriously though, 3 months ago I couldn't even finish studying through everything for my exams, and that was only half of my mocks. :(

pict of the day

© Yann Arthus-Bertrand
*click on picture to enlarge*

This picture is too adorable. Can you spot the penguin?

This actually made my day. :)

but i cant help but feel sorry for the penguin

because of the melting polar ice caps. :(

:(((((

It makes you even sadder when you're sad and you've decided to go do some online-window-shopping just to cheer yourself up.

And then you realised that what you wanted is no longer there anymore and they've decided that it's Fall and it's time for a change of season.


So soon?

I just hope they've got what I want in KL by year end. I don't wanna buy winter sweater and wear it in KL.

:(

One of the reason that I don't wanna stay in Form 6 is that I'm 9320481230483miles away from most of my best friends.

All my good friends aren't here. :(

And sometimes I wonder if they still remember my existence, cause frankly, it's been a while.

Have not spoken to some lately.



I just hope this friendship never ends.

Blah I'm either paranoid, or I'm a terrible friend.

whatsupwiththat?!?!?

K so did you all know that my school is one of the "Cluster School of Excellence" in Malaysia?

Yes i purposely emphasized on that word.

No no. not just a cluster school. it's THE cluster school of excellence.

and never forget the word EXCELLENCE!


I think it's actually pointless and I hope my headmaster doesn't know how to use the internet. or find my blog.

Anyway. What's the story.

Ever since our school managed to obtain that title, my headmaster has been showing it off. Yes like, showing off BIG time. Very peculiarly, that title always pops up in every single speech he gives or in everything he do.

And then I just heard that teachers are not allowed to, quote, "carry plastic bags in the school anymore". Why? cause it's not of high standards. Not classy. So what, we're suppose to carry LV from now on? And drive merz to school? Or prolly wear Armani suits and Ferragamo shoes from now on.

Please be more realistic my dear headmaster. Not everyone is filthy rich in that school. We don't live in the UES.
And if you wanna talk bout classy, why don't ya upgrade the classrooms and toilets first. Only when your toilet looks better than my bedroom then will we start considering your rules.

Good day to you :)

Muse - Uprising

from their new album, The Resistance



welcome back.

another one!

edited - finally found the full version! listen to the messages at the beginning.

Hillsong - I'm Not Ashamed

they sing really good! If only I could sing that well.

*click to enlarge*

You reckon how long will it take to finish that gigantic 10kgs of chocs. =D

thoughts

Do you agree when I quote, "When one is stressed, he angers easily."

Apparently all these stressed have lowered my patience level greatly. I can no longer tolerate some people :( still have to learn to be patient. So realizing that resistance towards some people are futile, I've decided to apply the best method. It's so true when they say silence is gold.

Less talk = Less conflict = Less stress. A win-win solution.

but people starts to think you're a snob

-----

Anyway any thoughts on this situation

I know this guy who oddly, whenever there is a hang-outs between friends, he will definitely be there. And as wel all know, there will always be food. But then the problem is that he never seems to want to pay! Not just once or twice but all the time! And not just that, considering everyone is just getting a quick meal or snack, he has a full 3 course meal. He orders appetizers, main course and side dishes! Plus desserts! And whenever everyone starts to pay, he just either keeps his mouth shut or he just tells the nearest person that he is sitting to, "Help me pay & I'll pay it back to you soon." Well it's fine if it's once or twice or a few times. But no! It's every single time! And apparently I guess his definition of soon = never. I don't know about y'all maybe I'm just being too sensitive but I think this is very shameless of him.

Thoughts? Should I just ask him to pay the next time? But then he never seems bring any single cent nor cash! And his parents are wearing Vuittons top to bottom.

-----

Anyway, some Form 3 classes are gonna have aircons in their class! I refuse to accept the fact that we, seniors have no airconditioned classrooms. I object! I WANT AIRCONS IN MY CLASS! But...ahh nevermind.

-----

one word

EPIC.

this hotel & residence is E P I C - EPIC!!!

I can't choose which shot I like the best. all of them are like, WOW.

nope.

You are not allowed to tell me what I can or cannot do.

You are not allowed to resist me from studying what i want. From taking the course I want.

I'll pursue whatever course I wish to pursue and you are not going to stop me.

The only thing between me and my wish would be myself. If that even makes any sense LOL.


p/s anyway does it annoy you when you wish to do something(eg: study some specific course in college) but then people around you aren't very supportive of you. Instead they discourage you and think you should do something else instead(or in other words, follow their advice). Bleh.

but am I being too stubborn?

God's Chisel - The Skit Guys.

This is a very touching skit. Some of the things that they say are just very true. Kinda like a reality check. A wake up call. A slap in the face. All in a good way =)

Watch it. You'll never regret it.

God doesn't make junk. You are an original masterpiece.

today

Today marks the last day of my afternoon classes!

After 3 weeks of agonizing pain, it is finally over!

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

quick update.

1) been skipping afternoon classes for 3 days now. Gosh being able to have naps in the afternoon sure is good.

2) Inorganic chemistry is hell. Even tougher than physical chem.

3) My teachers(or do you also call them lecturers) are insane. One chemistry chapter in a day! and that chapter had 9 periods allocated for it, which means a week!

4) It rained for the whole morning today. Nice weather today. =)

Hmm. Nothing interesting. Just been very moody lately. Don't feel like doing anything. I feel under appreciated, I'm sick, I'm tired. Yes I am overly sensitive at times. I am paranoid and I miss my friend. Lea you MUST come back in December. And I really wish I can just fast forward the time to December right now.

=( no more motivation.

And today's biology test. I totally forgot what is haploid parthenogenesis and diploid parthenogenesis.

Blah why must form 6 be so difficult.

p/s i wanna go to LA!

whisper, "hello, i miss you quite terribly."

So the weather is hot. Super hot. I have no idea where is the rain. The sun is super cheerful. and global warming aint doing any help either. We have to start working people. Or everyone might just die one day due to heat stroke.

Heard that maybe our afternoon classes will be cancelled! after our First mock exam! =DDD hoping for a miracle! keeping my fingers crossed!

Well why the sudden change? I assume it would be the continuous pestering by one of our very helpful teacher and some other parents.

And how 2 students almost passed out due to heat stroke yesterday afternoon. sad, i know. And me walking from the gate to my classroom would usually have me soak in sweat. Like after running in the field for 30minutes on a sunny afternoon.

Is that not a good reason to stop everything?

Keeping my fingers crossed! =D=D=D

iranoutofideasfortitles.

weather = brightly sunny with a touch of humidity. In two words, scorching hot. Seriously I was just taking a nap until I woke up to a sweat soaked tee. Really really soaked. And my aircon was on fullblastsuperpower.

From 88 to 77 and now 66. LOL so much for getting good marks =(

Joel Mchale. Super funny.

8 hours of classes continuously is seriously energy draining.

Internet connection is seriously bad. Took me hours just to load a 4 minutes video on youtube. =(

Some people are seriously annoying. Either you learn to be patient with them or you just want to give them a punch in the face.

I really dislike vectors. I dislike pure maths. Whatever happened to 1+1=2.

So much things to memorize in biology. Which reminds me I cannot believe that guy is studying to be a pharmacist. I just hope he doesn't poison anyone due to overdosage. No offence but he just wasn't the wisest nor the responsible kinda guy.

I want a vacation. A break. A trip to the beach will be nice. or a highland resort. mmmm.

Is it just me or is there anyone else which is experiencing a scary obsessive craving for Christmas.

I like chemistry =)

Medicine or pharmacy.

And I believe by now you are bored with this post, but if you're still reading, I salute you. You are either downright bored or you find this interesting.

I've noticed that when I'm stressed. I eat. alot. preferably comfort foods such as donuts and snacks. fast food is also good. this is very worrying. esp the risk of getting myocardial infarction.

and finally, i shall leave you all with this.

mmm nice.

=)

I think there is a fine line between being confident and being proud.

And from what I know, hard work itself does not contribute to one's success.

One needs confidence as well.

So from now on, think positive. No more being pessimistic. But at the same time not being overly-confident as well.

Gonna think positive. Gonna get what I want. Gotta acheive what I really really want.

But if I really do get crappy results, I'll...uhm.. decide about that later. haha

so.

The Malaysian Government has decided to revert our science and maths syllabus back to Malay by 2012.

Ok like please, make up your mind. Don't change it every decade1

And imagine this:

"The carbon dioxide gas will turn the limewater milky."

translated into

"Gas karbon dioksida akan menyebabkan air limau bersusu. LOLOLOL."

*ignore*

You just don't get any choices anymore. You follow what you are asked to do.

Tiredness is an everyday word.

Everyday seems like a drag. There's no more passion in what you do.

Emptiness is what you feel everyday.

You're so depressed you're scared you might get neurosis or psychosis.

Cause not many people actually understands.

You feel under appreciated.

You've failed so often that you're immuned to it.

Being compared is also not an option. You'll just have to brace yourself for the criticism in the comparison.

Dissapointment is felt so frequently that you think you're the worst person on earth.

You often wonder why is that some people's life is so easy that they are sailing through it whereas you feel like you're in a battle.

I need encouragements. That extra motivation. That extra 'push'.

stop it already. this depression is eating me alive.

another great one.

Tear Down The Wall - Hillsong United

10++minutes long. Worth every minute.

Hillsong London - Now

off their album "Hail to The King"

Listen to it. It's good.

=D

We went to visit the courthouse today. The cases were all about immigrants who overstayed. The proceedings were kinda boring until the next case started which was about that guy who claims that he is the head of the mafia team in sibu, or so it seems. I mean, seriously, people actually think this guy is cool? And the case was something about gas cylinders and money and plenty of embezzlements and blablabla until we had to go back to school =(

Anyway, that experience made me kinda want to be a lawyer, or a judge! It seems kinda fun at first.

Of course, until I realised that I almost fell asleep just listening to the proceedings. Imagine a lawyer snoozing off while the other is talking. LOL that would not be cool. I'll just stick to what I want to be.

anyway, I've realised that I really should stop complaining about F6 and school and stuff. And I think the only reason I'm so depressed is that I'm afraid that I might do poorly in my STPM and thus ruining my chances of entering a reputable university.

But what I have learned is that God has a plan for us. and He plans the best for us. Sometimes we might not agree on His ways but the end results are usually very satisfying. So therefore, when we succeed, we praise Him. When we fail, we praise Him as well. Because when we fail we thank Him for teaching us a lesson and learning from our mistake and maturing us through the failures.

Thanks to L for the inspiration.

And cheers everyone.

how do you..

not give up when

1) You're spending almost 40 minutes just to finish a maths question while others can finish it in 5 minutes

2)You're trying very hard to understand what your teacher is teaching while others can understand everything

3)You looked through some past year STPM question papers and noticed that you can barely answer any of the question.

tell me, how.

I asked, I prayed, I begged for a miracle.

God Of Wonders

I love this song. I love it i love it i looooove it. I really do.

This is the version by Paul Baloche.
I suggest that you take 6 minutes of your time, stop whatever you are doing, relax and listen to this song.

Precious Lord, reveal Your heart to me.

Father Holy, Holy.

The universe declares Your majesty,

You are Holy.

i think it is time for me to..

...sit down and type a proper post. My blog is getting old!

Well, life has been hectic. Very fast paced, everything just seems to be happening right before my eyes. Another week has passed and it feels like STPM is just right around the corner.

I can see it, I can feel it. I can taste it.

LOL randomness.

---

Still trying to get used to the 9 hours of schooling everyday. I'll usually end up too tired to study during weeknights. My revision plan is disrupted thanks to this.

I should really learn how to appreciate.

---

Now that all of my subjects' syllabuses have almost been covered, I've just noticed that there are plenty of things to study at once.

And i mean, A LOTTT.
I thought it was already plenty enough during the first few exams...
Imagine my mocks and STPM. Sigh.

---

H1N1. when will it ever end?

---

Friendship night tomorrow! and I'm in the praise & worship team again! woohoo!

At first I was reluctant, because I felt it had been a tiring week and I just wanted a break.

But now I'm glad I took the chance.

---

Tribute to Michael Jackson. R.I.P K.O.P

---

I would love to go on a getaway after my STPM. Langkawi? or Maldives =D=D they have amazing hotels and resorts. But expensive as well =(

---

I shall update more when something exciting happens in my life.

till then, cheers.

I called, You answered,

And You came to my rescue.

=(

I would love to complain and whine about everything. About the schooling hours, about the 30minutes lunch break, about how we can only rely on our school's canteen food for lunch, about everything..

But i shall refrain from complaining.

a quick summary of this week

and i mean, starting this week, not last week.

Tests. Short tests. Biology on Monday. Chemistry on Wednesday and Friday, Inorganic Chemistry to be exact.

and longer hours of studies, with only 30 minutes of break.

Not a problem. Bring it on.

this is how i feel right now

While I am shoving chapters after chapters of Biology, Chemistry and Large-Scary-Equations, my friends have already finished their pre-u years, currently enjoying their holidays, travelling around.

While me and my classmates have to endure longer hour of schooling, they enjoy longer hour of relaxing.

While me and my classmates looked like we have not slept for a week, they looked like they have slept for a year.

While we are constantly facing the exams, they are constantly facing boredom from the holidays.

ugh stop it with this depression. it's eating me alive

Quote

A very inspiring quote:

It is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard and the courage to believe in yourself.

What's the dream?

Ok since I actually found some leisure time, why not I share some of my dreams and goals.

1) To graduate with a M.D.

2) To visit Hillsong Church someday, or to be one of the singer HAHA *shrug*

3) To travel to these places:

- Los Angeles

- NYC

-Las Vegas

and Hawaii, Paris, London, etc etc etc

4) To own an amazing house(with a pool, of course =D)

5)to own a private jet To own a bentley

6) To hike up mount Kinabalu, or any mount

YES SERIOUS.

7) To see all my friends 15 years later and still be able to hang out like when we we young.

to be continued..

ok so yea these dreams might sound "easy" to some but hey, when you acheive a goal, you make more goals!!

lesson of the day.

Sometimes, all you need is an encouragement. That tiny push to keep you going again. When things get dull and dreadful, I guess all we need is that something, that special thing to keep us motivated.

I found my encouragement to hold on. I believe with every trial and pain, comes victory.

And my dreams and goals are what that is giving me the motivation to go on.
And don't forget God's strength as well!

I got my mid term exam results today. At least an A- for my Chemistry and Biology! Just like how I wished for.
Thank God.

Now the only problem I have now is to improve my maths and general paper. =(


And also,

School. 7 to 3:30. with only a half an hour break. They were suppose to start at 7:45 but then our principal decided to standardize everything.

Just a few more months.

Patience is bitter but the fruit is sweet.

i don't take no for an answer

I am tired. Every single day.
I have insomnia from all the worries and stress.
But I'm too tired to not sleep.

My whole body is going bonkers.

But still, nothing is gonna bring me downnnnn.







BRING IT ON!

Just 2 more mocks and a hell to go through and it will all be over. Serious. It will be over.

=(

I thought the next 5 months could not get any worse.

And it did.

Now all Form-6 students have to study from 7am to 3:15p.
Talk about torture.

When I said that one of my new year resolution is to survive through this year, I was just kidding.

Not anymore.

So yeah, please be thankful that you're not in F6. I have no idea what am I doing in Form 6.

this is very cool.

A very very funny nike ad I saw on youtube.

watch! it's very amusing. hahahaha

have a great weekend everyone

ok so about time to update?

Spencer Pratt - I'm a celebrity

Good or bad? I find it catchy, except the fact that the lyrics are pretty random.

Ok so most of my besties are back! Which means plenty of hanging out to do before second term of school starts =((. 

I am very much addicted to twitter thankyouvermuch.

Ok so I am thinking of getting a new phone. Nokia or Blackberry. No iPhone please. 1) i dislike touch screen keyboards 2) costs a bomb damnit.

tadah. I am done and out.

p/s don't okay. don't. just dont even try to piss me off. I thought you were a good person, until you bombarded those harsh comments. One more time and i will not be giving anymore chances k. Good day and cheers to you as well =D 

can you?

Can you spot the celebrity in this ad campaign? And while you're at it, guess the designer and the season for the ad campaign as well!

click photo to enlarge

this is actually a pretty easy one. =D

she looks absolutely stunning.

lol this is one of my favourite moments

Watch this video.

as the description says, it's a bona fide tear jerker! hahaha
i just love moments like these. very touching.

watch it. might even cheer you up! =D

ugh

My eyes are puffy, my nose is red. And I feel sleepy most of the times.

People who do not know thought I had been crying.

Hello Mr Flu.

Ugh this is not bueno.

quick update

K imma be quick on this one cause I have no idea what to blog about right now.

1) I should reduce my amount of hours watching E!

2) The kardashians are kinda entertaining. So is Miss Richard's Life's complicated.

3) I don't like people who constantly complains how boring their holidays are. Appreciate please darnit.

4) I would love to visit Hillsong Church one day.

5) I have not started on my holiday homeworks, nor do I plan to start on them.

6) Speidi is soo indecisive. Make up your mind already.

Cheers y'all. I am going to enjoy every second of my holiday from now on till the last day of the holidays. Can't believe it's going to be over.

p/s: I loathe going back to school. The class, the workloads, the people, the everything. Some of my classmates are cool tho.

ok laugh.

courtesy to Lea for introducing this video! thanks! it certainly brightened up my day.



i found it more funny than appetizing.

ok this is probably the best(multiply by infinity) song i have ever heard.

Okay how was your day? bad? or good? because if it was bad I got something to cheer you up. and if it was good I am here to make it even better


Love story meets viva la vida.

Listen to this song. No matter if you're a fan of taylor swift or coldplay, or not.
Or whatever it is. Just listen to it.
Seriously these 2 dudes are super talented.
And it doesn't hurt to look at the super cute dog which appears during the first 5 seconds.
My jaw was open for a solid 6 minutes throughout the song.

Please do yourself a favour and listen to it! LISTEN!

=D cheers.

So what's the dream?

Hillsong - Stronger


1) To be able to sing as good as him.
2) To be able to lead a worship session with that number of congregations.

Ok dream much? Back to reality.

p/s did i mention i love the song above?

Charity without forking a single cent.

ever wondered what does the "i'm" sign that has been around our messenger for quite some time really means?

It is actually a campaign initiated by Window Live Messenger called "i'm making a difference"

Everytime you have a conversation with that sign in your display name, a small amount of cash is donated to the charity you wish to donate to.

How, you ask?

Simple

*red+u American Red Cross

*bgca Boys & Girls Clubs

*naf National AIDS Fund

*mssoc National Multiple Sclerosis Society

*9mil ninemillion.org

*sierra Sierra Club

*help StopGlobalWarming.org

*komen Susan G. Komen for the Cure

*unicef The US fund for UNICEF

For whichsoever charity you wish to donate, add the code to your display name. Done. It's that simple

For more info, go to their website at http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Home/

do your part. be a philantrophist.

today's event

Okay after about a year (or less) of being on hiatus from the praise and worship band in my church, I'd finally decided to resume my post again.

I was the backup singer for today.

I don't know why but every single time i quit I will find myself coming back to where I began, that is, the worship team.

I always get this unexplainable bliss every time I sing and lead worship.
It just feels, good. Very good.

Even though my singing is as crappy as a tone-deaf senior citizen.

But I don't really care. Because that is not why I am up on the stage for.
I'm worshipping Him.

I'm just glad today's worship session was great. Andrea did an amazing job leading, the congregation was very involved as well, and the best part is that God is awesome.

Have a blessed week.

what happened these few days

Well teachers' day was last Friday. I'm just glad all of them liked our gifts, even though it was of little value and cost.

And I went to a christian concert last night. Overall it was not what I'd expected. I thought it was something like a typical Hillsong's concert.
Who knew.

1) If only it was in pure english, and the translator would stop translating every single word that Micah said, even when he wanted no more smoke on the stage, they even translated that."
2) Plenty of screaming and loud music does not necessarily make good music, sir. No offence.
3) Screaming is annoying, especially when you are screaming directly into the microphone. My ears are still numb. Everything I hear is fuzzy and blurry right now.

I much prefer something like this,

Hillsong - Desert Song


This is <3.
I love this song.
These two singers have absolutely amazing voices.