sorry everyone.

Hello readers! (IF there are even readers anymore HAHA)

Anyhow, really SORRY that I have not been updating my blog. Twas a really really busy and rough month. And the thought of blogging and having to use my brain to form sentences was just too much! Am so glad that finally there's a one week break or I'll probably collapse and end up in one of the psych wards nearby. LOL

Well, life has been..you've guessed it. Bleh I dont know why I keep getting myself into these kinds of mess, first Form 6 and now this. it feels like I can't give myself a smooth and easy year for a change! Bah! Anyway, workload is piling up, managed to finish off a few. Sometimes it's hard being too nice to people. I tend to forget how to say no and hence, been taken advantage off. I really should start learning to say no! These people are like vultures, constantly on a lookout for you, checking to see whenever you are free while hands ready with another pile of their own paperwork. Yeah, they expect me to finish their work for them. I KNOW I KNOW I FEEL LIKE A SUCKER LOL but well, they WERE my teachers! What was I suppose to do? Disrespect them? (Good idea now that I've come to think about it!) =( But thank God that is just the minority (mind you, even though it's just the minority, the cumulated workloads can easily wear anyone out). The others are really nice at least, respecting me as how I would to them. =)


Anyway, past few days I finally had the time to just think about stuffs (LOADS of stuff) and that got me thinking, do I seriously want to be a doctor? I mean I DO but, uhm, let me rephrase that. Do you think I WILL be able to HANDLE the stress? ahh much better.
I don't know, it got me pretty worried, listening to doctors and friends comment about med school and housemanship in the hospital; constant fire from the superiors, no working hour limits per week and earning a sad amount of money just for that. Plus, med school itself isn't easy either, with the constant burning of midnight oil and such. Really got me thinking, is it worth the pain just for all of these? Why dont I just settle for my 2nd dream? Do you really want to look like a panda?

Hello friend! You look just like me!

anyway, currently listenin to this rendition of Telephone by Lady Gaga

I really don't understand all these hoo-hah about Lady Gaga. Ok I know I've heard all these stuff about her but then I'm just listening to her songs! At least I'm not worshipping her or her musics or burning incense to her statue or something! Seriously that would've been freaky but I'm just listening to her music! Life would pretty much be very mundane if you can't listen to this or that or anything roight! 

Right. Till then.

so what's the dream?

To be able to play these 2 songs or to be as good as any of these violinists.

can i?

Can I just not be compared to someone brighter and smarter than me for once?

Can I just not be criticized for once for everything that I do?

Can I just be sad for once and not be regarded as weak and useless?

Can I just take a break and not be deemed as being lazy?

Can I just be me for once and not be judged for the way I am?




I'm so tired of trying to be the perfect person that everyone wants me to be, to avoid confrontations and conflicts, to avoid hurting anyone's feelings, to make everyone happy while risking mine instead.

I'm tired of trying to achieve all these expectations that people have for me.

I'm just not that good. I'm not perfect.
I'm just tired of being compared already. Please give me a break.

you know..

You know what I hate the most?


The thing i absolutely loathe..


..is that some people just dont know how to damn appreciate what they have.


You were the one who made the choice, who was so desperately wanting to study overseas.

If that was the case then why the hell are you complaining now? You knew you had to pay the price when you made such a big decision. You knew that you will be missing home most of the time.

then? why complain now?

you keep asking people to consider your feelings. well have you ever considered ours? we who are not financially-able to go to such places to study? even if half of the time that would be our biggest dreams come true? when we wish for it everyday but then realises that it's all just impossible? And why do we have to be tortured by listening to your whines and complains the entire time? Why don't you just give us all of your money and we'll spend them for you.

suck it up. be a man. stop complaining.

stop being a bitch. it's annoying. k thanks. =)

sorry!!

been really busy these past few weeks! i will try to update A.S.A.P! PROMISE! HAHAHA

in the meantime,


Have fun listening!

p/s To Lea: Remember 2 years ago when you introduced this song to me? and then the rest of the album! CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO COME BACK!! =DDDDDDD

thought of the day.

I used to like being in the praise and worship team at my church. Just love singing praises and leading the congregation. I dont know why but I guess I just like singing, especially christian songs, a lot! Hahaha

But then not long after I started to get criticism from some of the people, saying that I'll sing out of tune and my voice doesn't sound very nice. And that I shouldn't even consider singing on stage ever again. So that kinda brought me down a bit. Disappointed to say the least.

But then again, now come to think of it, the reason I was being a vocalist on stage in the first place was to praise God, was to worship Him. And I know for sure that no matter if I sound like Kris Allen or a wailing banshee, He'll still love it. He'll still enjoy it. He'll take it as it is. He'll still think it's great.

And if the Creator of the universe, the King of all kings and the Lord of all lords thinks it's great, who are they to criticize? =)

Just a thought. thinkaboutit.

yello!

Haha finally I've got some free time to actually sit down and type a decent post! Allow me to summarize what I've did these past many weeks!

1) Celebrated my first ever teacher's day! As a teacher!

I actually got gifts from my students! How touching!! =D 

p/s: The school gave all the teachers a bunch of red pens as a token of appreciation. Obviously they want us teachers to work even harder by marking more test papers with those pens. 

2) Went to a christian camp called Freedom in Christ. Absolutely amazing camp. Best 3 days ever. 

someone was obviously fooling around XD

3) Had the opportunity to do an attachment at a hospital as a student. 

Thank God I was under two amazing doctors. 

One was Dr. Zamzuri, a malay doctor who can speak chinese, english and malay. And trust me, first glance at him and you would not even be able to guess that he is a doctor. Probably the most cheerful doctor I'd ever met! Once he was jumping while laughing in the OT. Yes. He did. 

The other was Dr John Tang. Louis' dad! hahaha he's a great guy as well. A very wise and smart doctor. Was not selfish with his knowledge and was willing to teach and give me advice even if he had a line waiting for him outside his clinic. But once I was sitting in his clinic and he was explaining stuffs to his patients when all of a sudden he shot a few questions at me and my mind went blank immediately. Thank God for quick impulses.

who knows if I'll ever have the opportunity of wearing a white coat ever again right? =D

in the sexy scrubs! but i never did actually had the chance to "scrub" my hands tho. always walked into the OT with my dirty hands.

Me: Hey doc what is this? *poke poke*

Doc: that is the appendix. btw did you wash your hands?

Me: ...is that important?

The small room in which I seek refuge whenever the patients decides to slaughter me because of some unexplainable reasons there are nothing else to do. =)

Overall it was a really great experience, even though some days may get kinda exhausting. But I still love the job! =D

Anyhoo that's all for now. Will update again soon!

be right back!

Okay sorry but been really really busy these past few days.
Been doing attachments at a hospital and I'm very worn out these few days.
Went to a Christian camp last week. All I can say is that God is really amazing.

Well I will update on the details when I am free. Probably next week. In the meantime, a few videos for you to reflect on!




God will never leave nor forsake us. =')

Have a good week everyone.

=D classic.

I adore the little italian mouse.

"..tu sei Tom cat? tu sei Jerry mouse? Tom and Jerry? hahahah funny cartoons!" cuteness!

they just dont make them like this anymore.

I remember I used to love watching these two when I was young, and now I still do! hahaha =D
Definitely a classic. Kudos to Fred Quimby.

WOW

seriously. WOW.


It's so MINDBLOWING! AMAZING! SPEECHLESS! SERIOUSLY.

I cannot believe they were tossing those people like loo rolls! O.O seriously incredible.

Please vote for them. They HAVE to win.

haa =D

I want A&F's shirts please. Why must the nearest store still have to be so far away! =(

And I hate boring saturday nights. I can't wait to meet up with my friends in KL and we can go to those fancy places and have drinks. Or maybe we can go party!!

..what am i saying. bah i think i've turned into a party animal. bad. very bad.

which reminds me.


I am addicted to this song. The beat is so catchy. =D

anyway.

A&F! or Hollister! please consider opening a store closer to where i am please. preferably KL! kthanks! =D

Lord I'm amazed..

..by You. <3

people..

...I would like you to meet my new toy =D

Seiko Criteria Limited Edition. Only 1500 pairs in this world. And I have one of them. =DDDD

probably the most expensive accessory i've bought to date, but i think it's worth every dime.

=\

bahhhhhhhhhhhhh cant believe i spent my friday night at home!! watching re-runs!

but come to think of it, if you're staying where i am now you wouldnt have anywhere else to go as well at night. bah. i miss big cities and their nightlife.

but even that, having drinks and hanging out isnt too difficult right? =\

Lea, please come back to sibu soon. I really really miss having you around. Miss hanging around at your house laughing till our tummy hurts, miss having McD, miss having teas.

and i feel like, sometimes my friends here take me for granted, treating me like their chauffeur. and the only reason they'll invite me to stuffs is only cause i can drive them there. or that's just my thought. =( shrugs.

and some of them are seriously cheapskate. cheap as hell like seriously, omg.

I AM BACK.

hello everyone! yes i am back from the almost-one-month hiatus! yay! LOL

err. nevermind about that.
anyway, it has been a very long and tiring month. so much to do that i'd abandoned my blog.

so been working for 2 months now. got my paycheck few days ago(BIGBIGGRIN) but nevermind about that. i've got to say, these past 2 months have been pretty eventful. a very interesting experience indeed. I've come to realize that being a teacher is actually a very difficult job, not as easy as everyone think it is. but seldom any of the students appreciate the hard work those teachers put into. it makes me feel kinda sorry for those teacher who puts in so much effort for the students but they just dont give a damn. hmm.. *shrugs* as a teacher, we cant do much except to wish them well.
anyway, been teaching amaths and this is very very ironic since i really really dislike maths. But now i'm kinda liking that subject more and more hahaha =D

took my isat and ielts for my monash university application last month. isat was okay i guess but flunked my ielts writing paper. which means i have to retest the entire exam, again. =( what luck.

...which reminds me,

I've decided to focus entirely on my Monash University application and not depend on my government universities anymore. Even though my application from Monash has not been confirmed and quite a number of people thinks that my choice is very risky, I've decided to rely on my ability and of course, submit everything to God. This is what i call having faith.

Am holding on to that faith. =)

so nothing much exciting besides all that. Life is pretty much all work now, except that my work life is very very interesting. You have no idea what to expect everyday. sometimes it can be utterly boring and sometimes it can be so hectic you have to work overtime. But most of my friends are resigning this month since they'll be off to their respective uni soon. I think I'm the only one who decides to continue throughout the next semester. =D this is gonna be interesting.

another question i get very often is, "hey, still single?" and yes, i am still single. People asks me why. I guess I dont think i am ready(dont laugh! i know i am old!). It's just that, i dislike being in love. It gets you all tangled up, in a good and a bad way. It makes you wanna laugh and cry at the same time. and if i myself am not even ready, i dont think i should commit myself in such serious relationship. I dont wanna get anyone hurt. so, uhm, yay to
being single? hahaha until i am really sure i am ready, i'll stay single.

and i've learned that I really should care less about what other people think of me. Before this, every little criticism or comment that people have for me, I would take it so personally that it reaches the extent of trying to change myself in order to please others. Been trying to do so much of that for the past many many years to the point where i dont even know who am I anymore. But now i've learned that I cannot satisfy everyone. I am who I am and if they are my real friends, they'll accept me just as I am. Of course, some bad habits and attitudes can be changed but other than that, trying to change your entire self for someone else isnt worth it. You'll only end up hurting yourself and that other person still will not appreciate you. So what if i'm boring, or uninteresting, or way too chatty. =)

till then. ta.

=D

The first time I heard this song, I loved it.

and now, after many years, I still love it.



such an awesome song. =)

Majesty - Michael W. Smith

a really powerful song. :')

Your grace has found me just as I am,

empty handed but alive in Your hands.

"I have called you by name - you are mine"

few bible verses.

I wanna share a few few bible verses which I find really meaningful. These are the ones which really struck me to the core.


 ¹ Israel, the Lord who created you says, Do not be afraid - I will save you. I have called you by name -you are mine. ² When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. [Isaiah 43]


¹³I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. [Philipians 4]


²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. [Matthew 11]


more to come! =D

wow.

This kid is so good with his guitar like seriously, i feel so insignificant just listening to him playing.

..

been an eventful month. too much had happened.


i dont even know why am i trying so hard sometimes. what is the point?


if only i can acquire the "i couldnt care less" attitude.



or maybe this is just another training ground from God, to prepare me for med school perhaps.

another one.

No good news from MPM..

punched a hole right through my heart.. am i asking for too much God?

I dont understand why.

schedule oh schedule.

I have to be the MC for the debate competition next week.

I have to sit for my ISAT test on the 30th of April

I have to sit for my IELTS test on the 8th of May.

I still have many little things to do throughout the period.


I hope nothing will go wrong! =X

awesome song!

so uplifting! best song to start off every morning!


Tim Hughes - Happy Day

cant stop listening to it!!

new moon.

Just watched new moon. Uhm, it's kinda alright i guess. some parts are exciting but the rest are just long, draggy and slow.

hope Eclipse will be much much better than twilight and new moon. because a different director will be directing that movie.

but then i realised k-stew can't really act well. or robert pattinson. hahahaha 

in the end? the book is bajillion times better than the movie.

a few movies that i wanna watch this year =D

1) how to train your dragon

2) Iron Man 2

3) Shrek 4

4) The twilight saga: eclipse

5) Despicable Me

6) The last airbender

7) Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince I

choices.

Started work yesterday! And all the walking and standing is not doing any good for my legs. So soreee. =(

Anyway, I'm left with 2 choices for my uni right now actually. Both has it's own pros and cons.

Choice 1: Government University
I'll get to start my uni very soon, which is around july. I think I will definitely be offered a place in one of the universities I've chosen. But then i'll be doing MD instead of MBBS, which is bad. And I'll have to stay in the universities' hostels. DX

Choice 2: Monash's University
I get to stay in my own desired place. I'll be taking MBBS. Fees are all covered by JPA, so it's free of charge. But the problem is that it starts next year. And i am not sure if I will definitely be taken in as a student or not. I dont wanna waste a year waiting for the uni and in the end my application is rejected. =(

Both uni's fees are all covered by JPA. but then both requires me to be bonded to the gov for 10 years. so obviously monash's fee seems like a better trade since it's more expensive right? =D

So? How? =(

galileo galileo galileo figarooooo

well sung by the ten tenors! love the mamma mia part. so creative.

fleur du mal

...

Why is it that people keep telling me I should not be a doctor?

Is it because you seriously think I will not be able to make it through medical school?

Why must you all discourage me so.





i dont know what to do.

L!!!

Been watching Glee these few weeks.

and I am not ashamed to admit that I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with that series. absolutely head over heels for it.

lea michele's (a.k.a rachel berry) voice blows me away. it's amazing.

makes me wanna jump up on a stage and sing a few numbers as well.



one of the song from their pilot episode.

it has arrived!

FINALLY! THE PACKAGE THAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

hard-covered! =DDDD happiness

=D

Anyhoo.

Been doing plenty of university application these few days and I've got to say, it's a lot of hard work!

Those who leave all the application thing to those education service centres, I envy you all! =D

Now I'm just planning on trying to apply for a good local university. Or scholarships from IMU. But well, if I fail in getting any of these 2, I think I might have to wait for another year to enter Monash's School of Medicine. Why do they have to start school so early. =(

And I still find it very surreal that I actually appeared on the local newspaper. Hahaha never in my life would I imagine myself on a newspaper. And our school took the trouble to actually paste all of the newspaper articles on the notice board. =X I swear i could have died of embarrassment.

But anyway, it has been an interesting experience haha. everything is well now. it's all good.

lol!

phebe! your requested post! =D


i couldnt stop laughing while reading these. some are just embarrassing hahah!

*click to enlarge*

finally.

all my hard work has paid off.


is it ok if i feel proud of myself? not trying to be snobbish tho!



finally, all my hard work, paid off. =)


and all my classmates, i think you all did very well too! =) really!

i'm happy with myself. thanks everyone for all of your support these 2 years. =D

and thank God for His guidance and strength. it has been a tough journey. war has been won. =)

tomorrow.

this is it.

there's no turning back.

in less than 24 hours I will finally know my results.

the results that i have been waiting for.



=\

Madina Lake - Welcome to Oblivion

a good song =D kinda reminds me of paramore.

=(

i've still got 4 more days to the day and i'm already having panic attacks.

O
M
G


bless my little lungs, i'm so nervous i can barely breathe.

and that was just a joke. yes it's a joke. LAUGH.




insomnia! i wonder how will i feel on the day itself. i better not pass out or get heartattacks. XD

I THOUGHT IT WAS MARCH!

KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 19 (Bernama) -- The 2009 Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) will be announced on Feb 25.

The Malaysian Examinations Council (MEC), in a statement here on Friday, said candidates could obtain their results at their respective schools from 12 noon that day, while the private candidates would get their results by post.




I AM NOT READY!

I SWEAR WHEN I READ THAT NEWS MY HEART STOPPED.



EXCUSE ME WHILE I RESTART MY HEART.


CRAP I AM SCARED. THIS IS TORTURING.

...

this is it.



it is done.






i dont know how to explain.



my heart is so wrenched that it feels like someone has punch a few holes through it.

30STM - Kings and Queens.

currently addicted to this song

a good song with a good music video which was shot in my most fav place. =) sublime.

Casa Kimball

This I LOVE.

my dream home. definitely.

the scenery, the view, the design, the pool, the..everything. it all fits together so perfectly.

=)

just to fill the gap.



Muse - Undisclosed Desires; from the album The Resistance



OneRepublic - Good Life; from the album Waking Up



Better Than Ezra - Breathless; from the album Before the Robots



Kris Allen - I Need To Know; from the self-titled album

yay!

it's finally here!



the package that i have been waiting for! it has finally arrived!!

 

been waiting for this package for quite a while. 3 weeks actually. what efficiency -.-

well, since I am on a long break right now & i have nothing to do, literally. Hence I bought some books and decided to do a bit of reading =D

i know, i know... i'm kinda late on the whole twilight thing but no big deal right!

i have to say, the story is really really good! i'm halfway through twilight and the storyline is very interesting. the plot, the story itself, it's very well written.

I think the movie is alright, but the book is way better.

like it was made for you

I basically have nothing to do nowadays so hence, a post on suits! random i know.
A few points that I've learnt while choosing suits...

Photo courtesy of emporioarmani.com
Emporio Armani Pinstriped Two Button Suit.

..is that the suit MUST be slim fit. or else you will look like a kid wearing his dad's suit.

 Photo courtesy of emporioarmani.com
Emporio Armani Micro-pattern Suit.

..a simple black suit ALWAYS works. even on a bad hair day.


or if you're feeling a tad bit adventurous..

Photo courtesy of GQ.com
Wool Suit by John Varvatos

..a grey suit works as well =D

Photo courtesy of GQ.com

Corduroy Suit by Emernegildo Zegna

...or a corduroy suit perhaps?

photo courtesy of gq.com - Joel McHale for Heavyweight Champs - A GQ winter suit primer. More available here.

..or maybe you might prefer navy

Suit by etro

or brown?

Suit by Claiborne by John Bartlett.

both photos courtesy of gq.com - Neil Patrick Harris for All Business, All Cotton. More available here.

depending on occasion, I personally prefer darker shades of colours such as black, brown or charcoal.

eg: summer wedding? white suit it is!

Suit by Boss Black(ironic!)

photo courtesy of gq.com - Chris Pine for Lighten Up: A Summer Suit Primer. More available here.

and for me, notch lapel - anytime. peak lapel - formal occasions.

Tuxedo by Burberry Prorsum
photo courtesy of gq.com

cause when i grow up...

..i wanna see the world, drive nice cars..

anyway. my trip to kl this time was a blast. had so much fun. but first i'll blog about the stuffs that i want first!


First day. decided to drop by louis vuitton to see if i can repair my wallet. apparently the cost of repairing my wallet = the cost of a brand new wallet. X.X

but then i saw this..

Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Tadao.
this i like. quote the promoter, "this is insanely gorgeous." a bit extreme but i have to agree.

but thennnn i saw this pair of sneaker!

Louis Vuitton Clipper Sneaker
this i like even more.

and then there was prada.

Prada Nylon Bandoleer bag

but then i thought maybe it'll be good if i get a duffel bag. would be useful

Prada Black Nylon texturized trim duffle bag.

which reminds me of this bag..

Louis vuitton damier graphite keepall


and of course, no trip would be perfect if i did not stop by a few of my fav shops. =D

Salvatore Ferragamo Mille Sneakers
saw this. fell in love. dad saw the price. then i was heartbroken. you do the math.

and i have a question. how does the malaysian gov actually tax these luxury goods? cause the stuffs in burberry are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overpriced. seriously.
like for example

Photo courtesy of Burberry.com

Burberry Modern Fit Trench Coat
Priced for around £650, cost around RM6900 in malaysia. O.O
anyway. the trip to burberry was heartbreaking. everything looked so good. most of them cost more than the total tuition fees for a course in gov unis.
i mean. even a simple solid coloured dress shirt cost around Rm1000 but the same thing cost around £100 in burberry.com 

tried a lot of trench coats. cant show you the picture cause no idea which one is which. LOL could only recognize the one above. but all of them look super good.

so my new(wait. not exactly new but anyway =D) aim is to buy a burberry trench coat!

off to bvlgari! to check out the watch that i want.

Bvlgari Diagono Chronograph Watch

Not exactly the same but almost. Quite similar. and the price is actually quite ok! around RM3000++..i think. 

and another new aim! =D

then i did try on plenty of suits tho. Tried one in Lanvin which cost around RM12000 but then after discount it's only RM3000. Wanted to buy sooooo badly. But of course...

saw a suit. fell in love. dad saw the price. you do the math. 

the salesperson was sooo eager for me to buy it he even further mark the price down. To around Rm2500++ i mean wow for a Lanvin suit. what a bargain! =((( 

but the one thing i actually dislike about designer suits is that most of them cater for sizes 48 or up. I'm 46. =( so zegna was alright but hugo boss sizing just doesnt fit me at all. 

But of course, no suit trying would be complete without a trip to giorgio armani right. 

one word. WOW.

their suits are amazing. 

very very amazing.

till then. if i do remember some more stuff this post will be further edited then. =D

=|

my life feels like an extract from a daytime soap opera.

all the dramas. the resemblance is uncanny.




and i totally forgot to blog about my trip last month =O

my holiday has been very eventful thus far. not a single boring day yet.



i really should type a longer post.

what a way to start the year

this has been a very difficult first-11-days of the year.



not a good way to start a year. not the way i planned it would be either. never part of the plan. it's like my worst case scenario, all coming true.

=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

this is traumatizing. bah. =((((((







D= upset.

edited:
everytime i think of it i cringe in fear. i swear, it was an accident. it was an honest mistake. everytime that moment flash through my mind, that scene replays through my head, my heart shatters. nothing else. you were so helpless.


this is very very very traumatizing.

edited part 2:
still very devastated. cant get over it. did not even sleep the whole night. cant help but feel super guilty. just the thought of it makes me feel sick to the core. still wishing it was just a bad nightmare.
i dont wanna talk about it. i dont even wanna think about it. i just want to get it off my brain, forever. but the scene just keeps on flashing through my mind., like a video on replay.

..and this made my day =)

tooooooooooooo adorable!

i was *this* close (squeeze thumb and index finger together)

Seriously, I was super close to going to uk to study.


This is heartbreaking but imma blog about it anyway.


I had some help from those education consultant agency and they told me i can actually apply for a full scholarship to study pharmacy in either University of London(yes lea you read right.) or University of Sunderland. Like, sunderland is actually just a few hours away from london so yea i didnt really care where was it. I was just ecstatic to go study in UK. my ultimate dream come true.

 Then my dad did mention that if i can get a full scholarship to study in the UK he will allow me to go study in the UK and be willing to pay for the rest of the expenses.

So in the end I told my dad about the offer and he said it seems ok. Plan seems to be working. dream seems to be coming true. Finally!


....right until the part i told him the cost of the estimated living expenses.




then after a long pause..



*pause*



..he said no.

dream, ruined. again.

cause it was too expensive and was kinda heavy on my family's expenses. so yea. that i understand. totally. no hard feelings.  yeap

just that i cant help but feel sad. disappointed. I really thought for once my dream will come true.

but since my dreams nor my wishes had ever came true, it's no surprise that this one didnt work out as well. =\

well, back to reality.

i have a feeling for sure,

that i'll end up in a gov uni eventually.

those crappy unis. Dx

2009.

=D been busy these past few days! finally have some time to sit down, think and recap what had happened last year.

well, 2009 has been a rollercoaster ride. had plenty of good times, amazing times. But of course, there were some bad moments as well.

Upper 6 started very hectically and that did not subdue till stpm was over. lol phew talk about exhaustion. But i have got to say, there were some very good times as well.  had great times with my best mate in class and also some very good friends from my class and s3 as well. our teachers were amazing to us. nicest bunch of teachers i've ever had.
but then, the bad moments had its share of times as well. exams, sleepless nights due to revision, usually we will end up at the brink of exhaustion. =(

but i thought all of those hard works were well paid off in the end when i went to kl for my vacation! =D that was very fun. singapore was kinda crowded but fun nevertheless. in the end every second of my vacation was well spent. =)

then i had parties! first was ym's party(fun fun fun!) and then lea's NYE party(more fun! was the party where i realized i am gin-intolerant lolol). was a great way to end my year. best parties ever. and it was spent with the "best-est" group of people. could not have asked for anything more. that week was most probably the best week of 2009. that has got to be the good life.

so yea. 2009 was definitely a bittersweet year. mostly sweet lolol. twas a memorable year. definitely will miss some moments. but one thing that i am sure of is that there were no regrets. not even one =) life's too short to regret about anything.


that's my 2009. how bout yours? =D

=(

disappointment strikes all at once.






bah. you have no idea.

=D to cheery.

All the best in NS! even tho you might not be able to see your friends once you are back, but time will bring us all back together again. =) i will see you very very soon again.

with much blessings,

t.

a summary of my holiday =)

 1) chlo's party. awesomeness is all i can say.


2) new years eve party. amazing time as well. tried lea's malaysian sling. gotta say, that's a very nice drink. an excellent mix.


3) a farewell party for adrian. had a great time as well. =)

and not forgetting all the hangout times with bryan, ian, cheery, lea, and adrian as well.

it has been a good holiday. ever since the holidays started life has been superb. and lea coming back just made everything better.

but alas, all good things must come to an end. =\

lea and adrian will be leaving this monday. the day after tomorrow. how time flies. =( bryan and ian is gonna leave as well. so is cheery. everyone is gonna leave me! WHY.

Lea:
I had a blast this holiday, many thanks to you. Thank you for all the time we had fun together. There was never a dull moment. Thank you for all the times we chatted. Thank you for being the super awesome friend you are. there are so many things that i still wanna thank you for.  =) I wish you all the best this year and ...."chyessss" you must come back this december! LOL =D Just promise me one thing this year. No regrets. not even one. =) gonna miss ya heaps xxxxxx

Adrian (lea please show this to adrian LOL)
Teaching you chemistry was very fulfilling. It was a great experience. You are amazing. Thank you for being an amazing friend. =) All the suppers that we had after cell group, and i love how we can just talk about anything =D those were very good times. All the best in the new country. take care and i really hope to see you soon. haha i may not be the most amazing friend but pleaseee do keep in touch k. gonna miss ya loads.


=D

crap now i'm feeling reluctant. dreading for the day to come.


p/s anyway i dont think i'm gonna make any resolution for this year except for one, to dream big. and keep moving forward, even when times seemed difficult.

=D

THANK YOU LEA, BRYAN, IAN AND ADRIAN FOR THE BEST WEEK. AND THE BEST NEW YEAR EVE PARTY. EVER.

we should do this again. next year.

res 09

OH MY. 2009 is gonna end in just a few hours! and a new year is about to begin. Time surely flies.


Well, let's evaluate my resolution for this year.

1) be a better person (..not sure)
2) whine less (failed.)
3) insult less (not sure as well. LOL)
4) money spent less (...uhm...)
5) be more punctual (was i?)
6) go to church more often (...i think so.)
7) be a happier person overall/learn to appreciate (i think i failed.)
8) study very very hard for U6/get better results than last year (yay passed!)
9) do my school homework this year (define "do".)
10) exercise more (failed miserably)
11) go to KL after stpm. (YAY PASSED.)

LOL this is embarrassing.

PLEASEEEEEE

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH PLEASEEEEE GIVE ME THAT JOB!



GOD YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! I REALLY WANT THAT JOB!!!



I need a divine intervention. Help from God. A miracle from God. actually 2 miracles from God.



OH I AM BEGGING YOU!!! YES I AM THIS DESPERATE

sometimes,

you just wish you don't have to keep everything to yourself


you just wish for a helping hand and not have to solve every single problem yourself.








sometimes, you just wish for someone you can talk to all the time without worrying you'll scare/annoy that person off.

Sadly, some wishes will never be granted. 

Merry Christmas

Christmas is not about..

santa claus (never was),
presents,
christmas deco,
snow,
family gathering,
partying,
getting drunk(most stupid thing a person can do during the christmas season. complete imbeciles. pft)

but instead. i believe that christmas is..

the day where God sent His beloved Son into the world.

the day where Christ was born.

the day which made all the difference. where our future will never be the same again because of this day.

the day filled with joy, love, hope and peace.

=D a very happy christmas to all.

the best belated-birthday party. ever.

I was forced to wear the..crown. :(

 

Cheery!

Bryan and Ian!

many thanks to the 3. =) you all are the best.

for the record, I still think i look kinda retarded wearing that crown. =(

=D

Back from KL. a wonderful trip. except for the singapore part tho. too crowded. too many people on such a small island. I was worried the island was gonna sink any moments. hehehehe


Anyway, pictures up..uhm..soon. promise. eventually. =)



I still cant help but keep wondering if i have to study every other minute. It's like, I keep having this autonomic reflex to study or do homework or stuffs like that. As if I've got exam tomorrow since tomorrow is monday. I keep forgetting that it's holidays already. LOL too used to form 6 i guess.



anyway, how is my new found freedom? awesome. amazing. sweeter than anything. I love holidays. No matter how bored people keep telling me that it'll be, I'll still love the holidays. Uh-may-zing.

=)

after almost 2 years,

more than 600 days,

4 subjects,

many books,

thousand of pages,

and many trees cut down after =D

and 7 exams later,...

It is done. This is epic. this feels surreal.

I made it. We all did. =) this is a new beginning.

=)

I cannot believe it. This feels so surreal.



VERY very surreal.


Later on, I'll be having my PA paper 1.



Tomorrow I'll be having my chemistry paper 1, which is also my last paper.

 Which marks the end of form 6.

It feels like I have finally finish this journey. This battle. I've survived through the battle.

The feeling of accomplishment, it's unexplainable.

I feel like I've accomplished something very very big. =)

It has been a very very long journey.

I've reached my destination.

I have to say, it has been a very interesting journey. 2 years of intense rollercoaster ride. There were plenty of difficult times, but i have to admit, there were some amazing times as well.

Great teachers, great schoolmates, great friends who supported me. I cant help but feel blessed instead of feeling tired.

After all of this, do I regret going to form 6? I'll have to say no. I do not regret. Because there isn't anything to regret about. Even though I chose the road less taken, but I thought it was worthwhile. This experience has been very interesting. I've met some of the greatest teachers in my school, met some very interesting schoolmates and learned plenty valuable of lesson throughout this experience.

and i cant help but feel rather...smart =P hahaa

All in all, it has been a great experience. I would not have missed it for the world.

p/s: I thank my friends who have been great support throughout these times, even if I was a big whiny baby. The littlest support and motivation that you all have given me, I truly thank you all. No matter if it was a paragraph full of inspirational quotes or just a short "you can do it", I appreciate it. =) you know who you are.

 pp/s: I do believe i deserve a little break by indulging myself in some retail therapy after all of this dontcha think XD

why?

Why does it seems like my problem just never ends?


This never ending problems. The mounting amount of problems, it's so overwhelming.

Problems after problems.


I just wish I can run away to a place where no one can find me. Just for a week. so that i can rest..

and you're still putting on a happy face.

still trying to help others with their problems

when quite frankly, you have your own problem to solve.

=\

another case of insomnia?


I've been getting sleepless nights this entire week. Even if i do get some sleep it's not all great. I'll wake up like, every 30 minutes or something.


bah. too much stuff in my mind i guess.



I'll just spend this time studying my biology.

rahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

1) It took me 1 hour to finally be able to sign into my facebook account
2) ..and 30 minutes of non-stop attempt of signing into msn messenger.


streamyx. seriously?



i am not happy. not happy at all. if another streamyx technician asks me to check my IP and DNS thingy one more time i am gonna scream and yell profanities to him like there's no tomorrow which can put the person with the worst potty mouth to shame.

ahhaha jokes. please dont take me too seriously now. i think i am slightly insane.

But the complaints above are real! just the profanity part is..uhm..ahh nevermind.
 

anyway, on the other note..

I am leading another p&w session this sunday! after such a long time, I am starting to get worried. I mean, we are lacking musicians this week so I've decided since we've only got pianist, drummer and guitars (acoustic and bass), we might as well just do an acoustic session right? something very laid back and not very rockish. that oughta be interesting.

the problem is,
I have not sung for such a long time.




I tried practicing, and i realized i sounded like a teenage wailing banshee.


gulp.

hmm

yesterday marks the day where I'll never have to study through my Form 6 Mathematics anymore.


As i was putting away the book, I suddenly felt...


..reluctant..



I know i know. I was begging for it to be done before this. But now, after 2 years, I had no idea that it had became a part of my life. I've become so attached to it that, when I put it away, I feel like I'm shutting out a part of my life.

There's this feeling of voidness in my head. Like, something is missing.
My teachers were right. We will be too attached to all of these.

As much as I've hated maths, I've become used to the workload i guess.

My heart is reluctant to let it go.

...

toughest Maths T2 paper that I have ever done.

ughh. frustrated.




very upset now. I just hope that doesn't ruin my chances of getting a scholarship.




it feels like all the hard work that i've put into it has been wasted.

hmmm

so lately, i've been getting this question quite often, which is...

"SO! what are you gonna study next year?/where are you gonna go next year?"

Never did I imagine that it'll be...next year. I always thought it was 2010 but I did not realize that'll be next year. =X

anyway. So. what do i exactly wanna do?

I always wanted to do something that earns me endless amount of cash has something to do with heath-care or health sciences, such as medicine or pharmacy.

But looking at my results now, I don't think I'll be getting any MBBS from any school anytime soon(or anytime at all!). And so pharmacy it is. Besides, I don't wanna screw up my chance of getting a JPA scholarship, so i rather apply for something that's more...realistic. and which is more accessible. see? =D

But IF I do not get any scholarship (which I hope not), I will end up in one of those government universities (again, which I hope not!). Apparently my parents think the course that I am applying for is too expensive. Well, quite true tho. So scholarship. PLEASE!

Then again, IF my results sucks so badly that I can neither do pharmacy or medicine ( I blame stpm.), worse comes to worst, I will have to become a teacher. Yes. A teacher. What subject? Probably chemistry, the subject which i like the most.

BUT! I am trying to be positive! =D all my papers are, alright. So far so good. So I'm hoping for a miracle(actually, many miracles). I'm trying to not think of the "worse comes to worst" situation first. gonna stay positive. And I am quite sure God will help me. =)



uhm, so. are you not entertained?

...

bah. just hold on. 13 more days. just a short period.


get a grip, terrr. suck it up. stop whining.






but i cant help it. I get messages like, "ugh holidays are soooo boring la. rather be in school now. i hate holidays" but are you serious about that? cause for all i know, during those schooldays, you were literally begging for the holidays.

please be considerate ok. there are some people out there who are still working their butt off, wishing for their holidays to come. all your complaints about your holidays will not help. stop being so bitter about it.

bah. upset.

=D happy thanksgiving...

..to everyone. =)

My next paper doesnt start till next Tuesday so I'm grabbing this chance to get some rests. 

and to blog.

So, since it's thanksgiving today, just wanted to make a list of things i'm thankful for.

I am thankful for:-

1. being a Christian. =)
   
2. having the most awesome-est family and the best-est parents, bro and sis
3. having the most wonderful bunch of teachers to teach me this 2 years of form 6
4. going to form 6. not an easy task, but the sense of accomplishment is amazing.
5. 10th of december! retail therapy!
6. getting the adequate amount of blessings, not too much or i'll get spoilt and not too little as well.
7. living in a country where natural disasters are rarely seen 
8. not being born into a very very poor country. or living in poverty.
9. having all the basic necessities in life.

and i'm also thankful for every single one of my friends!

if i start naming everyone, that might take me forever, and this post will get very tedious. so uhm, these are just a few people who helped me a lot this year.

adrian - my reliable chat buddy

louis - the wise guy with wise advice.

lea - for the tea! and being bestie numero uno

dory - the motivator.

xiao mei - best listener in the world. the most patient as well, always there to listen to my ramblings. =)

and many others. no i did not forget you. =) every little things that y'all do, i appreciate it deeply. 

so yea, happy thanksgiving. 

......andmoredots.

Only one paper done.

I have 3 this week. 3 papers in 3 consecutive days. The thought of it makes me cringe in fear.

...I don't know. Feeling kinda down.

It feels like as if I'm in this war all alone. No one is helping me. I feel so helpless.

Well, it's true. Why should anyone care. It's your exam. Deal with it.

I know, i know. You're saying "But God is with you!"


Well, sometimes when you're extra down and sad, you just cant help it.


I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I have no more will.

But I must go on. 

cause I know that some of my friends are supporting me all the way!

I have faith. A faith that can move mountains. I have faith that God will help me get 4As!

...

i'm 41 hours and 30 minutes away from it.

This all feels so surreal.

I actually feel like I'm in a war.


And i've finally reach the battlefield. The atmosphere is tense, everyone is not talking. I'm waiting for the enemy, I can see it already.

I dont know if i bought enough ammo.

..hope so.

I'm in this alone. It's me against everything else. All i have is my brain, myself and I. With supports from teachers, motivation from friends and the encouragements of others.

And the strength of the Lord. =)

this is frightening.

hmm.

So, no more high school eh?

Class officially ended today. But still, the finals are in 2 days time. X.X

but then I finally got my wish, that is, to leave Form 6.

if you were to ask me, am i happy?




...i dont know how to answer.

Bittersweet perhaps?
Happy cause i dont have to endure waking up at 6 am in the morning and go home after an exhausting day.
Sad cause I am gonna miss the people. the atmosphere. the funs.

Kinda reluctant tho. maybe it's just me. =\

I'm never gonna return to that school again as a student. Just an outsider, or an alumni. LOL.


definitely gonna miss them awesome teachers. I'll have to say, after years of studying, the teachers were the nicest these 2 years. Never, did I come across kinder teachers than the ones i had these 2 years.

and i've met the bunch of funniest schoolmates i've ever met as well. Any conversation would usually end up with us either LOL-ing hard or bursting into tears of laughter.

=)

It has been a roller-coaster ride.

This year has been good. Well, sometimes it's bad(when it comes to exams) but then, most of the time it's good. =)

faith.

In Hebrews these 3 words were mentioned; persevere(10:36), do not lose heart(12:5) and endure (12:7).

Although chances of getting As seems pretty slim, but I'm not giving up hope. I'll have faith, faith that God will help and provide. I will not doubt. I'm counting on God.

Philippians 4:13

I would like to share a verse with everyone.

"I can do EVERYTHING through HIM who gives me STRENGTH - Philippians 4:13"

Yeup. so true.

<3

Remembered when i started Lower six I felt soooooooooooo far away from the ending point, the finish line. It felts like the race was never gonna end. The battle was never gonna be won.


I'm on my last kilometer now. :) i cannot believe this is all gonna be over soon.

Call me emotional but you wont understand how would feel, never. Not unless you're in form 6 as well.





I'm so close now. It feels so surreal.

another nice one.

When it feels like the whole world has turn away from you and you have no one to count on...


you know you've still got someone that you can count on. :D

I used to think probably I can go through this ordeal by myself. Boy was i wrong.

Ever since I started relying more on Him, I've realized that revision times are less painful now. I can even memorize chapters after chapters and still be able to remember it the next day. =)

so yea, have a blessed week everyone!

a worth of sacrifice.

This time, I promise. This will definitely worth the 9:26 minutes of your life.

Ever wondered what does it mean when us Christians always say, "For God so loved the world that He gave up His one and only son.."

Well, I have the best video to explain that to you.



Watch this, please. No matter how busy or bored or sad you are. Just watch. No regrets I promise.

ok please, enough.

edited: i've realised that it is not worth my time and energy to fret about you. so i've decided to forgive you and forget about you.
=)

Good day to you.

=DD=

Well..

Operation memorize-every-single-word-in-my-biology-textbook, on!

The only reason I’m doing that is because apparently only 2 people got A in the last STPM exam. Out of 16. So most prolly the probability of getting an A in biology would be 1/8. O_O

So dead. so so dead.

=(

Miracles? Now would be a good time for you to show up.

 

Anyway, would be updating less. MUCH MUCH less. =(

 

 

=D Seeing you brightens my day.

I wonder if you feel the same way as well.

just for fun.

This is def one of the best live performance I've ever seen. Just superb.

Muse - Starlight Live at the EMAs

and another song that i am addicted to now.


Croatian Rhapsody. =D